There are a few things I really fear. Some of them may be totally irrational but I fear them all the same.
1. Having one of these roaches touch me. They are so hideous I may not be able to keep this picture on here for very long. They can grow to the size of a baby's shoe and fly. Sometimes they fly at you and try to knock the can of Raid right out of your hand. FACT - If roaches were the size of humans, they could run 90 miles an hour.
(After receiving thousands of email requests, I have removed the hideous picture of the grossest bug in the world. I do these things for you so that you can enjoy your blog time without having to look at that insect nastiness.)
2. Missing trash day two times in a row and being totally overrun by our own filth. I think this fear started when we had three children in diapers and the smell from the garage was like dragon's breath.
3. My vacuum cleaner breaking. If you've read any of my other posts, you'll understand why this would be a horrible tragedy. I may have a housefull but I don't like dirt. This is really just an addendum to #2.
4. Going to have my hair done and accidentally getting a mullet. I don't have great hair but it could be worse. The Kentucky Waterfall, Business in the front/party in the back, A little front porch, a lotta back deck. Need I go on?
5. Finding out that my husband had ever auditioned to be a contestant on American Gladiators. I assume you don't need any further explanation.
Last night, one of these things happened.
Guess which one.
Here, I'll give you a hint: It wasn't 1-4.