Friday, January 25, 2008

Uh Oh.

There are a few things I really fear. Some of them may be totally irrational but I fear them all the same.

1. Having one of these roaches touch me. They are so hideous I may not be able to keep this picture on here for very long. They can grow to the size of a baby's shoe and fly. Sometimes they fly at you and try to knock the can of Raid right out of your hand. FACT - If roaches were the size of humans, they could run 90 miles an hour.

(After receiving thousands of email requests, I have removed the hideous picture of the grossest bug in the world. I do these things for you so that you can enjoy your blog time without having to look at that insect nastiness.)

2. Missing trash day two times in a row and being totally overrun by our own filth. I think this fear started when we had three children in diapers and the smell from the garage was like dragon's breath.

3. My vacuum cleaner breaking. If you've read any of my other posts, you'll understand why this would be a horrible tragedy. I may have a housefull but I don't like dirt. This is really just an addendum to #2.

4. Going to have my hair done and accidentally getting a mullet. I don't have great hair but it could be worse. The Kentucky Waterfall, Business in the front/party in the back, A little front porch, a lotta back deck. Need I go on?

5. Finding out that my husband had ever auditioned to be a contestant on American Gladiators. I assume you don't need any further explanation.

Last night, one of these things happened.
Guess which one.
Here, I'll give you a hint: It wasn't 1-4.

15 comments:

Abbie said...

SHUT. UP.!!!! You are kidding me? hahaha
I HEART American Gladiator, like BIG time. We watch it every week. We watched it in the 90's when it kicked major butt even then. *sigh*

Your hubby may be our new hero...

C'mon, just admit it, you think it's cool too... ;)

weeklybob said...

AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!...what?

Kimmie said...

Wow, that's quite a list. Very interesting, especially the one that you discovered!

Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
* we have adoption news!

MissHannah said...

Seriously...You forgot to mention that he had to do 50 fingertip pushups.

I think that is noteworthy.

Abbie said...

Umm Ok, I'm QUITE done looking at that incredibly disgusting insect every time I come to your blog. TIME FOR A NEW POST MELISSA!! ;)

emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
emily said...

Ok, I deleted my comment after further clarification:)

Enjoyed it- my brother, American Gladiator.

Abbie said...

I love you Melissa. I love you I love you I love you. THANK YOU for TAKING IT AWAY!!! hahah :)

Wonderful World said...

Ha!!!!!!!! You really did take the roach picture off!!! I'm very glad...it was a little too realistic. By the way I'm a friend of the Common Groung crew in Montgomery! I love your blog. It is absolutely amazing how you allow the Lord to use you and your family that way! Keep posting.

Ellen said...

EEWW. I hate roaches ALMOST as much as those translucent little geckos with the detatchable tails.

Natalie Fournet said...

Share your fears! Especially #1!!!

Kelley said...

oh my gosh!! We are cracking up!! You know, it runs in the family, me being an olympic contender and all!! I just never knew of my brother's illustrious past as a gladiator!! Wow!!
Kel & Joe

Kelley said...

oh my gosh!! We are cracking up!! You know, it runs in the family, me being an olympic contender and all!! I just never knew of my brother's illustrious past as a gladiator!! Wow!!
Kel & Joe

Kelley said...

sorry for the double post!! (:

Misty said...

ok, i am thankful that i missed the pic of the flying roach. because, dear Melissa, roaches are the bug i fear the most as well. one time, at the office, i was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and one CRAWLED UP THE DRAIN and i screamed and then i cried!! ugh they give me the heebies and the jeebies.