The grocery store checkout line may be the death of me. I may literally die one day, waiting in line to pay for the groceries in my basket. Cause of death will be avoidance. I may run out of the usual distractions of gum and hot cheetos, digging in my purse for nothing, and pretending to see the Easter Bunny and just fall down and die just to create a diversion for my children.
What could I possibly be working so hard to avoid, you ask?
Conversations like this.
"Mommy! I didn't know Jamie Lynn Spears was married."
"No, baby, she's not married."
"Well then, how can she have a baby if she's not married?" Wide, innocent, unadulterated eyes staring back at me.
I pretend I can't hear her over the buzzing of florescent lights.
"How can she have a baby if she's not married?"
withtheguilt. Do you want some Bubbalicious?"
In Heaven, I bet the grocery store checkout aisles are lined with only Highlights magazines.
And the Bible. Highlights and the Bible.
And hot cheetos.