Thursday, October 23, 2008

Confession.

Can we talk?

I need to tell you something.

Sit down.

You're probably already sitting because you're on a computer.

I've been cheating.

That's right cheating.

Cheating on my blog with......Facebook.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Wait! Don't leave. Let me explain.

It's not you. Not you at all. It's me.

IgaveintopeerpressureandinnocentlycreatedapageandthenIcouldsee
allmyoldfriendsfromHigh SchoolandCollegeandtheyhavechildrenand
husbandsandwivesandfacialhair!


But please, listen, I promise I won't let my relationship with FaceBook t come between us. I know I've neglected you the past two days that I've spent on FaceBook but you're not alone. I haven't showered, my kids had Fruit Roll-Ups for dinner, and my bearded dragon's crickets escaped all over my house.

I actually think my relationship with FaceBook may enhance the one we already have.

It will make it stronger.

Four minutes after joining, I received this picture.


I'm in the very back. And I'm really tan. Was it because the weather had been so sunny and warm and I tan easily, or maybe because I had the month-pass at Tan City?

Here's a hint. I had skin cancer when I was 23.

The picture is from my Senior Prom and we all talked our mother's into spending obscene amounts of money on dresses because we promised we'd also wear them in our weddings.

I have since repented for lying. Lying like a dog on a floor because I had to have that big beautiful bundle of matte satin and would say anything to get it.

She drew the line at the elbow length gloves. I coveted those gloves but have since thanked her in my mind for not letting me go overboard. I mean the gloves would have been too much. The rest of my ensemble was totally subtle.

I was Prom Queen because I had the biggest hair.

It was the one and only qualification and, obviously, there was some serious competition.

I had a secret weapon.

Aussie Super Scrunch Spray.

Ok, not so secret, but super and a weapon if there ever was one.

My nickname in high school was Booger.

Don't gross out, it was because of my very hard-to-pronounce maiden name.

Love you, Daddy!

My prom date's last name was equally unfortunate and his nickname was Boner.

He was Prom King.

In one evening, we managed to totally strip the honor and dignity from the titles, King and Queen.

I've missed you, blog.

You. Complete. Me.

And what totally humiliates us can also make us stronger.

*

23 comments:

Holli said...

WOW that hair and those wedding dresses..... what more could you want?!
I am glad you are back and no more cheating!:)

Kate said...

HOLYMILEHIGHHAIRBATMAN!!!!!! :D Wow, ok...I think I can def forgive your absence because of that picture! :) Welcome back oh and the very least thing you could do would be to give us your facebook link so like we can be friends there TOO!!!! :D

Henley on the Horn said...

You are so funny. I LOVE your blog & laugh every time I read it! Yes, I have been on FB too. It is SO much fun to find old friends & see old pics like this one. Your commentary about Booger & Boner is just too much! Where is Boner now?

Kori said...

Oh that hair is really something.

Mrs. Troop said...

That a hoot! I, too, have been known to while away countless hours on Facebook. Hours I really don't have. But fruit roll-ups for dinner would give me more time! HA!
Glad you're back. I enjoy reading your blog!
BTW, cereal works equally well for dinner!

Michelle said...

You totally make up for lack of blogging with that picture...WOW. And I completely understand about the Facebook thing. Utterly addicting.

Melanie said...

I wish i could say that i've missed you... but have been too busy chatting with you on FB.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Having a Facebook page is not a Dr. Phil "deal breaker" between true blogging friends.

emily said...

I am just so sad that I couldn't see your dress- do you have another picture? I do love that hair. :)

Tonya said...

I love Facebook! I have connected with so many old friends and also love seeing the photos of their families. Good times, just like your blog.

Paul and DeeDee said...

oh. my. goodness.

Mandy said...

That's hilarious! I looked at the picture and saw a girl I graduated high school with (the one with the big hair - oh wait! I mean the one in the light pink, on the right).

It's a small world!

Susan said...

I want a full view of the dress...Trey's probably happy that you lied and didn't wear it as you came through the door as his bride. I need to go change as I wet my pants!!!

Colored With Memories said...

Hi. I'm Kerry and I'm addicted to Facebook. I'm looking for a Facebook Anonymous group.

We MUST see a full picture of Booger in her dress. One with Boner too would be tops.

Going to look you up on facebook!

Kim said...

You crack me up. I too recently gave into the FB peer pressure from high school friends. I am now praying that no one posts my high school prom pictures. I think my hair was taller and my blue eye shadow was definately thicker! We're all glad you are back!

Kerry said...

i couldn't find you. of course all i know of your maiden name is that it sounded like "booger"...not real helpful.

is your profile pic up yet? if not, you may want to get it up...when i typed in your first and last name a woman in her panties popped up. i'm just sayin'.

Karin Katherine said...

you had me at aussie sprunch spray

Kim said...

What a hoot!
And how do you feel, knowing you've been one of the biggest contributors to the depletion of the ozone layer? hehehehe I never quite got into the spending-hours-on-my-hair thing but my sister did and I swear that girl could go through a tall can of Aquanet in a week.
I'm with the others, we wanna see the DRESS!

Sitesx6 said...

I've been lurking for a long time- I finally feel I need to come out of the lurk closet and tell you that I ADORE YOUR BLOG. You and Big Mama, together, make me laugh so hard, I have to change my britches. You are so funny. :)
I lover your resuce the animal stories and I love the funny way you tell your stories.
Keep up the funny sister!

Post a picture of Booger and Boner together PLEASE!
Kelly

Jess said...

I DEFINITELY would NOT have voted you "Most likely to get her freak on in inner city Dallas" if I were in your class!

Love the picture. You've inspired me to post on my blog some cheerleading pictures of me found on facebook. I probably won't post prom pictures though, I was wearing a tight sequined dress that I should not have been wearing. I was not prom queen. ;)

These Three Kings said...

something is wrong with you!!! LOL!!
Missed you sooo much in Miami!! I was telling that humble, sweet, out going hub of yours we have to make a trip to visit you all in Dallas!! who would have thought the LORD would use these blogs the way He has!??

I have to look you up on facebook!
love you!!
ps. did I tell you how much I enjoyed seeing your man, you have such a Prince! :)

Misty said...

i love the 80's! haha! i had the scrunch spray too, alas, never mastered the art of using it. or mousse. i had the all over perm, complete with bangs. i had this in 7th or 8th grade. maybe i'll blog that photo, then we can all have a good laugh! in fact, why don't ALL bloggers post their "best" 80's pics? how fun would that be!

amy said...

Hello my FB friend! Your blog is hilarious. Seriously, is there anything better than looking back at yourself and your friends in the 80s and early 90s? I could spend days. Wait, I do spend days...the beauty of Facebook:)