Can we talk?
I need to tell you something.
You're probably already sitting because you're on a computer.
I've been cheating.
That's right cheating.
Cheating on my blog with......Facebook.
Wait! Don't leave. Let me explain.
It's not you. Not you at all. It's me.
But please, listen, I promise I won't let my relationship with FaceBook t come between us. I know I've neglected you the past two days that I've spent on FaceBook but you're not alone. I haven't showered, my kids had Fruit Roll-Ups for dinner, and my bearded dragon's crickets escaped all over my house.
I actually think my relationship with FaceBook may enhance the one we already have.
It will make it stronger.
Four minutes after joining, I received this picture.
I'm in the very back. And I'm really tan. Was it because the weather had been so sunny and warm and I tan easily, or maybe because I had the month-pass at Tan City?
Here's a hint. I had skin cancer when I was 23.
The picture is from my Senior Prom and we all talked our mother's into spending obscene amounts of money on dresses because we promised we'd also wear them in our weddings.
I have since repented for lying. Lying like a dog on a floor because I had to have that big beautiful bundle of matte satin and would say anything to get it.
She drew the line at the elbow length gloves. I coveted those gloves but have since thanked her in my mind for not letting me go overboard. I mean the gloves would have been too much. The rest of my ensemble was totally subtle.
I was Prom Queen because I had the biggest hair.
It was the one and only qualification and, obviously, there was some serious competition.
I had a secret weapon.
Aussie Super Scrunch Spray.
Ok, not so secret, but super and a weapon if there ever was one.
My nickname in high school was Booger.
Don't gross out, it was because of my very hard-to-pronounce maiden name.
Love you, Daddy!
My prom date's last name was equally unfortunate and his nickname was Boner.
He was Prom King.
In one evening, we managed to totally strip the honor and dignity from the titles, King and Queen.
I've missed you, blog.
You. Complete. Me.
And what totally humiliates us can also make us stronger.