Thursday, November 20, 2008

Car wash.

Trey and I only have one car that will carry our entire family at once so, inevitably, it's always the dirtiest and stinkiest in our fleet. Our fleet of two; so only a fleet in my mind.

Over the past couple of weeks of scurrying from school, to baseball, to gymnastics, to dinner, to school and back again, my car had become, let me think of a word, um, wait, let me check the Thesaurus, pigpenish and unsanitary. I think those words should paint a sufficient picture for you.

I was driving into the sun and literally couldn't see out the windows because of all of the fingerprints so yesterday I splurged and took the beast to a carwash. They promised to send me away driving a spotless car smelling like apple blossoms in the springtime. Or, maybe New Car Scent, but either way, better than crushed up Cheese Nips, socks, and stale Diet Coke.

They totally delivered. Best $18.95 I've spent in a long, long time.

When I picked the kids up from school I quickly established two new rules. 1. No touching the windows - which should last until the first time the windows fog up and everyone wants to draw stick figures picking their noses. 2. No eating in the car. I'm serious about this one. For a brief moment, I tried to figure out a way to have a 'No eating in the house' rule. Would that be going too far?

Anyway, here's my dilemma: Graham is home sick today. He's got an upset stomach and a headache. Classic symptoms for the stomach virus. We're fine now but in a couple of hours, I've got to go pick up carpool and he's going to have to get in my car. My. Clean. Car.

I love that little booger but if anyone is going to throw up in my car, it's gonna be him. He'll run past two bathrooms to find you and tell you he's sick just before he throws up on your shoes.

What, as a loving parent, can I reasonably do to love on him and keep my car clean at the same time? I know I can't tie him to the roof, I mean, if he got sick up there, it would still get all over my car. I also can't make him drive with his head sticking out the window, that would be plain cruel. I think I'm just going to have to dress him in a trash bag and have him hold a garbage can in front of him the whole time. That way, if he does get sick, it's somewhat contained; at least until I have to slam on my brakes because the lady in front of me is talking on her cell phone and almost misses her turn.

Or, maybe, as I'm sitting here looking at his pitiful-self about to spill Gatorade all down the front of his shirt, I just need to realize that a clean car was not in the cards for me when the Lord gave me four, and now six children. I'm pretty sure there will be a time when my car won't be covered with fingerprints, my couch won't have Sharpie on it, and my front yard will actually grow grass.

For now, it seems as though I'm supposed to work on growing children instead; ones that have my fingerprints all over them and the Lord's Sharpie on their hearts.

But mark my words, when they get older, I'm riding shotgun in their cars with a strawberry milkshake in each hand.


Lori said...

Good luck with THAT! :) On our last trip back from Missouri our oldest threw up in the car. We had to pull over to a small town gas station and one hour and $12 later had it all cleaned up. Kinda. It takes a while for the smell to completely go away. I would be lining that vehicle with towels and trashbags and giving him his own personal bag or two with his name on it! :) Good luck!

MacNicol Clan said...

This really made me smile! I just spent 30 GBP to have my car cleaned inside and out because in this wet climate, we really were growing things in between seats! So the same thoughts were going through my head too. Except that fog on the windows is a 6x a day occurance in Scotland and sometimes a bag of crisps (chips) really keeps your sanity if it will just make the "i'm hungry" cries stop! Sooooo, we managed to make it from school, to tennis and back home with only fingerprints. No food offered. Counting the days.....I think those car trash bags that hang over the back of the seat claim to hold liquid...maybe that will help with today! Poor Graham. And thanks for the little lesson too!

Hauswife said...

No way! We have twin cars!

This morning I sent a naughty child out to our beast to empty out the trash with a garbage bag, and he filled it... literally. I don't remember anyone having Raisinettes in the car (Her name is Sylvia, by the way.) and yet there's a box and a bunch of smashed one in the back seat right now. ICKO!

Do you think our houses and cars will ever be clean? I mean, for real? Because as soon as we ship the last little tyke off to college, won't the first one be bringing over the grandbabies? *sigh*

Btw, bucket for the booger boy and you'll be good to go. :)

Susan said...

An awesome reminder that they are little, horribly messy, and under our roof for such a short time. I can't count the number of raisins ground into my back seat floor. And I ventured into the 3rd row once recently...and the smell coming from the cupholders...yikes. I don't know that one of those $100 car detail jobbies would conquer that!!!!

daughter of the King said...

I tried the no food in the car rule. I think I lasted a day before I caved to the whining. I would rather have a sane mind than a clean car.

RosyRose said...

Love it! Love your post! I so get you with wanting a clean van! And You know that someday we will be able to get them back and blame it on old age:)
I'm Rose nice to meet ya!

dawn said...

This made me laugh today because I have a bad vomiter too. He is the sweetest boy, but man when he vomits it's a natural disaster. He will vomit all over the bathroom floor, get it all over the new bathroom rug, the bathtub and the shower curtin all while the toilet sits there squeaky clean.

How in the world does that happen?

I have a Graham too. I love that name. I am Eyes Toward Ethiopia's sister in law. Love reading your blog. Thanks for the laugh today.

Holli said...

strawberry milkshakes with your dentures on the dash? :)
hope Graham is feeling better soon!

Renee in Seattle said...

One time I TOTALLY splurged and had the inside of my minivan detailed professionally, you know, the kind that take all day and where they steam out every little crack and crevice.. When I picked it up I asked, so it was bad, but not THAT bad right? I mean, you've seen worse, right? "Maam, that was we have ever cleaned." Yikes.

Karin Katherine said...

Thanks for the laugh. It's classic mom isn't it? you feel for them and then you worry about them throwing up on you, or in your clean car at the same time----sometimes in reverse order!

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