Let me begin by saying that I really did hesitate writing this post for about five minutes. Then I decided that, if you can't be brutally transparent with your internet blog friends, who can you be brutally transparent with?
Now, that assumption may break down at some point but, for right now, I'm going for it and don't try to stop me. You may regret that later but let's move on.
For the past several days, we've been getting emails sent home from the school that went something like this..."Blah, blah blah...lice outbreak...blah, blah, blah...check your children...blah, blah, blah...infestation."
So, if you can't already tell, I wasn't that worried.
We checked all the kids heads and sent them on with the all-clear-thumbs-up of two parents who have never had lice and honestly, wouldn't know what to look for if our kids had it anyway.
Proving my point was the phone call from the school I received at precisely 9:30 am.
"Olivia has lice. Can you come pick her up? Loser."
She didn't really say 'loser', but that's how I felt. That and a slight twinge of nausea since, as soon as I hung up the phone, I had to walk into Chapel School and grab Sadie where she was already surrounded by little girls all wanting to share hairbrushes, headbands, hats, and pillows.
Exaggeration is what makes the world go round, don't you think?
Ok, anyway, LICE!!!!!!!! Shudder. Gag. Shudder.
Olivia has lice. Do you know what that means? It means that I picked up that little blonde bombshell and took her infested self to the drugstore for some pesticide and a lollipop. We spent the rest of the day going from the shampoo station to the nit-removal station and back again.
After we had done this little rotation about infinity times, Trey told me I should stop "nit-picking". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Knee-slapper, Trey. Knee-slapper.
Oh, yeah, then I did about one kadjillion loads of laundry, vacuumed the entire house nine times, sprayed every square inch down with some concoction I'm sure is illegal in the six states including Nevada, and washed everyone's hair in the house with the pesticide shampoo. We actually looked on the internet to see if dogs could get lice. They can't so we've got that going for us.
This is where I ask for any advice you can give me to expedite the extermination. Anything? Anything? Bueller?
On the plus side, the lice shampoo did make my hair soft and silky with plenty of volume and bounce so I'd consider working it into the regular shampoo rotation IF IT WASN'T FOR KILLING DISEASE CARRYING PARASITES!!!!!!
To keep Olivia occupied while I picked through her hair like an orangutan I popped in the movie Annie. We love a good musical and I thought Olivia could relate to Annie because, being in an orphanage in the United States during the Roosevelt Era, Annie surely had her fair share of run-ins with lice. And can you imagine going through that hair with a fine toothed comb?
Yikes! I'd think Miss Hannigan would insist on buzz cuts for sure.
So, it's been a hard knock life over here today and I'm tired and ready for bed. I'm praying that we'll wake up tomorrow and be free from this present nightmare and that it will not spread to any of the other children.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow. You're only a day, away...unless the lice isn't gone, then I'm hiding under my covers.
And just to clarify, if you put your name in the hat for the Christmas ornament giveaway, I'll draw Friday morning. Don't worry, it's been hermetically sealed in a mailing envelope in my car since I got it so it is all sanitary and ready to go! Promise!
Ya'll have a great day!