Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Who's the Genius Now?

One day, after Trey and I had been married a couple of years and living in Nashville, my husband stumbled upon something on the internet that has forever changed the way we look at one another.

An I.Q. test.

He, of course, being the most competitive person in all of Creation, immediately took the test and, low and behold, the results showed that he was a certifiable genius. Certifiable, yes. Genius? Hmmm. I think he also got a coupon for a free oil change with the test so I was a little skeptical.

He persuaded his best friend Ray to also take the test. Again, genius.

Now I really started to get suspicious and decided, if Trey and Ray could be geniuses, then dogginit, so could I. Plus, we had two cars so we needed another coupon for the oil change.

Anyway, not so much.

I tested slightly above average; certainly not genius.

Now where do you think that's left me all these years? Yes, that's right. On the losing end of every argument ever since. "I'm for sure right on this one, baby, 'cause remember, I'm a genius."


In certain circles, I look like the most submissive wife ever but, those close to us know it's just because, who can argue with the free internet I.Q. test that comes with a coupon? Can I get an Amen?

Really, I think the smartest one of the bunch was Ray's wife, Kitsie, who opted out of the test altogether. Her I.Q. remains a mystery and that makes her a genius in my book.

Yesterday, though, we may have seen a chink in the armor of our resident brainiac. A cold front blew in and dropped the temperature about 30 degrees. Trey, being unprepared as he was, jumped out of his car and rushed inside to quickly get out of the cold. In his haste, he locked his keys in his car. While it was still running.

Well, that's ok, let's just get the other set and open the door. Oh, what's that? We don't have another set? Hmmmm. That presents a problem....a problem only a genius could solve. Or a locksmith, whichever was available first.

Now, because I'm all too aware of my own faults, and I don't want to sound like I'm throwin' Trey under the bus while sitting on my intellectual high-horse, I need to be honest about how I spent my afternoon.

Instead of taking care of all the things I have to do on my Christmas list, I bought fake dog poop at the toy store and laughed hysterically each time I tricked one of my poor unsuspecting children or my husband with it.

"Oh, NO!! Look what Caddy Woodlawn did!!! YUCK!!"


So he may have, in haste, made a foolish error, but I laughed my head off at it because I have the sense of humor of an eight year old. I guess we're a match made in heaven.


~s said...

Oh yes, I also got sucked into the vortex of my own brilliance. Then my 13 yr. old, on an unrelated issue, declared that anyone who believes everything on the internet is a moron.

Ellery said...

First time to your blog and I'm laughing my head off. Hilarious post. I'll be back.

Daisy said...

UUGH. Ignore the comment from Ellery. That's my husband and he scored exactly 5 pts higher on the on-line IQ test. I forgot to sign in under my account. Anyway, I'm the dumb one and I loved your post.

Kim said...

Another great post. You've got me cracking up! And you know that Kitsie and Ray are dear friends. Our 5 year olds are best buddies! Love & Blessings, Kim

trey said...

In my defense, when I locked the keys in the car I had my mind on loftier meat and Bottle Rocket.

emily said...

Really good. I really don't think that I want to know my I.Q. I'm struggling helping Hill with his pre-algebra!

Candy said...

I think that the circumstances the Lord allows in your life that you can then turn into hilarious blog posts only proves His faithfulness!! Knew this would be a good one. Now you just need to tell about sweet Johnny getting cuffed by the police for trying to help get into the running, locked car!!!
Laughing so hard!

Misty said...

lol fake dog poo?? seriously, i'm right there with you!!! that's great.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I love this entire blog and this post and gush, gush, gush. You are hilarious. I have been tempted to take an IQ test before but since I operate out of fear, as my youth staff tells me, I have declined the test. The poo part is probably the best part, though. What a great return on your investment for that!