Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Seein' some skin.

Today I made the long, arduous trek to the dermatologist. Actually, it was neither long or arduous, I just like being dramatic.

I've gotten to be pretty comfortable with dermatologist in general since it was determined in 1990 that tanning beds were 'very bad' for the skin. It was probably determined long before that but when a naturally fair-skinned girl's getting ready for prom, nothing will stand in the way of a good tan. Not even that funny burned-flesh smell that sticks around for a few days. Nothing.

In 1995, my dermatologist found a little somethin' somethin' on my shoulder and it took four different attempts before it was finally and forever removed. Finally and forever until it comes back.

The beauty is now I have a giant scar where the small dot of questionable cells was. So, I traded up. I guess.

Today, I was back for my semi-annual check up but needed to go to a new dermatologist because insurance changed and blah, blah, blah, why am I boring you with all these details? I don't know. Maybe because I'm supposed to be downstairs making Spanish rice for 50, or cleaning my house, or parenting my children or something.

It was a great visit until I remembered the, um, full body check that I have to undergo every time I go in. I sure wished I hadn't been so worried about panty-lines when I left the house this morning.

After discussing my abnormal moles, removing a couple of things without the use of an epidural which is clearly necessary, addressing both my wrinkles and my pimples (which makes me think someone messed up somewhere), and my sun damage, etc. my new dermatologist concluded, "You're going to be a great patient."

I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.


Henley on the Horn said...

You are just like my friend. She always remembers way too late, as in when she's in the waiting room, that she has on thongs for her semi-annual whole body check. I think it's hilarious. Prayerfully none of your moles will make you "a good patient".

Anonymous said...

I bet your brother was excited to read your latest post! I loved it, nonetheless!

Mary S said...

Oh, sister, I feel your pain! I, too, was at a new dermatologist today doing the whole body check thing. I'm going to have my THIRD basil cell carcinoma removed. Do ya think it might have something to do with the laying out thru the '80's on tin foil slathered from head to toe with baby oil. Hmmm...
love & miss you! - mary s

Becca said...

haha this cracked me up - thanks for the giggle today :-) especially about the wrinkles and pimples - I thought one of the two was bad enough - and now both?!! :-)

Sue said...

Ah that burned skin smell. I remember it well. I've only a few times been in a tanning bed in my life & decided I wanted a "full tan" - ended up burning my butt cheeks bad!!

What we women do for vanity's sake!

Let's hope you're a "good patient" in the "good" sense ;-)

Colored With Memories said...

you brought "that smell" back to me instantly...what were we thinking? i didn't tan in the sun, why'd i think that'd be a good idea!?!

i'm afraid i'm a "good patient" too...though maybe not as exciting! ;)

laughed all the way through this!

Holli said...

the best patients always wear thongs!;)
hope all comes back good!
the smell, the raccoon eyes and bunny tail were my signature in HS!

emily said...

So you found someone else equally happy to cut things out huh?? This was a good reminder, I'm way past due for my check.

Jess said...

HA! I went to a new Rheumatologist when I was 9 months pregnant and they made me put on the gown!!! Yep, I had worried about panty lines when I went in too. (which is kind of pointless when you are so pregnant) There's NOTHING more comfortable than a doctor looking for popping joints while wearing a thong "covered" by a gown being pulled by your 9 month pregnant belly!!! Oh, and since I didn't think there would be a gown involved, I brought my 2 year old. Thank goodness he stayed on the chair eating his sucker.

Thank you for reminding me. I had blocked that out.