The other night, Olivia, Tee, Graham, and some other child I did not know were doing their homework upstairs in the playroom.
I did know the other child, it was Sadie, and they were absolutely NOT doing their homework because then it would be called a homework room and how ridiculous would that be.
Homework room, please.
They called down for me to come watch their latest escapade. I'd hoped it was finding all the Lego pieces to the Star Wars Imperial Destroyer. Can't a girl dream? What they were actually doing was taking all the pillows off of the couch, stacking them up into a tall tower and hurdling over them.
Does anyone know right now where this is going?
Olivia went first...Run, Hurdle, Land, Crack, Scream.
I actually heard a crack - maybe a pop, or a snap to be more specific - and immediately knew we would be spending the rest of the night in the E.R. of Children's Hospital.
Always looking for that opportunity to learn something new, I payed very close attention to the goings-on in the E.R.
1. Always pack snacks. I actually saw a mom take a swig of milk out of her son's sippy cup. That's desperation if I ever saw it.
2. A family of four can consume 26 pixie stix over the course of 4 hours and still all fall asleep, sitting up in the waiting room chairs, despite the sugar.
3. A woman can get so bored in the E.R. waiting on an X-Ray that she'll count the number of Pixie Stix consumed by above family.
4. Said woman can also be so bored that she colors the dot-to-dot pictures in her daughter's coloring book - using shading and blending techniques so that the image "jumps off the page".
5. When the family that was sitting next to you is approached by a nurse, asked to move to a partitioned part of the waiting room, and put on paper masks, you will nonchalantly, but thoroughly bathe in hand sanitizer.
6. No matter how much pain a child is in because she did actually break a bone in her foot, when a nurse says the word "crutches", that child will beam from ear to ear.