Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Mercy.

Last night our family, plus one, went bowling. Tee had been asking for a long time for a family game and we finally conceded. When I say finally, I mean it. I've been avoiding the family bowling night with Trey and any part of his family for years because, when they bowl, they mean business. When I bowl, I mean, well, not business. I slip in the shoes, drop the ball, and spend a lot of time in the gutter.

A kid who'd gone to camp, started and finished a few fights, and who's heart ultimately broke at the end of the week came over to Mercy Street yesterday to hang out with Trey. He's fifteen, with a great smile, hair-trigger temper, and a motel for a home. He came along with our family and, just between you and me, bowled worse than I did. He didn't care. He just laughed at himself, and the kids, and loved spending time with Dea and Darius who've walked in his shoes but found life beyond their circumstances. Or, more specifically, Life found them.

We laughed and high-fived and Dea won by a small margin and Trey took the loss like a man. A man who hates to lose at bowling.

At one point, the young man leaned over to me and said, "Mrs. Hill, can I live with ya'll for the rest of the summer?"

Trey, in wisdom that tempers my knee-jerk 'yesses', said no and later, drove him home. On the way, he asked again, "Mr. Trey, how long will Dea and Darius live with you?"

"I don't know, son, probably a couple more years."

"When they move out, can I move in?"

We could fill a dorm with kids who want out of their current situations. Who's parents aren't protecting them, loving them, simply parenting them. Some days, I want to build that dorm in my backyard because I want to fix it - fix them and their families and this whole community. Unfortunately, my ability to fix things is comparable to my ability to bowl and I slip and slide and drop the ball.

I found this on my friend Nicole's blog. As with most of her writing, it sang to my heart and reminded me that I'm not a repair-man and I can't fix it. I am a messy, awkward instrument in the hands of the perfectly skilled Father and in constant need of His great mercy.

"Mercy is a door. It is a portal through which we catch a glimpse of the heart of God. A gentle tug on our heartstrings draws us in. But soon we encounter brokenness so overwhelming that neither the tender-hearted nor the inventive problem-solver feel up to the task. Our solutions fall short. Pathologies are too deep, poverty too entrenched. And we descend into our own poverty, a poverty of spirit, a crisis of confidence in our own abilities to rescue. We are tempted to withdraw, to retreat to a more manageable world. Yet our hearts constrain us. Or our guilt. We feel trapped. And, like the broken, we find ourselves calling out to God for answers. When our best efforts have failed us, we are left with nothing to cling to but frail faith. In a strange twist of divine irony, those who would extend mercy discover that they themselves are in need of mercy." - Bob Lupton


9 comments:

Jill said...

Seriuosly? My Lawd....that is some stinkin verbage from you friend Nicole...it is awe-inspiring. I am a rescuer too, so I feel the pain and would have wanted to say yes too...thank God you have your balance Trey.

Holli said...

I was going to ask if I could move in to but once you change the rules about laundry I started having second thoughts!
I will be praying for this young man and that he finds a peace with where he is and knows that God will be with Him no matter where he is. motel Mel's Room and Board!

Anonymous said...

How sad for that kid. I can't imagine how hard that would be to say no..... Im sure you think to yourself all the time...what if we just had more money...what if we just had more space...I'm sure God is smiling on your family...you are very strong christians and I thankyou for what you do...

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

I cried when I read this. But mercy limits mercy.
God bless you.

Dawn @ P.S.He loves you.. said...

"Knee jerk yes" what a clever way to describe people like you and I.

And the whole bussiness of bowling in life..well not to "toot my own horn" but I play better at bowling then in life ;)

Keep them any thing coming! It's great to read this blog o'yours!

The said...

That was very sweet. I love your backyard desire, and I hope the Lord does, too! What a neat heart He has given you!

Becca said...

oh I just love and am totally convicted by pretty much everything Lupton writes. Oh and I would fill my house with 2 or 20 kids if they had their way!

Nikki said...

Hi Melissa,

You don't know me, but I know Emily and Moody. We are the ones who started Kingdom Vision International. I'd love to talk to you about a few things. I have some supplies I think maybe you can use for your ministry.

Thanks!

Nikki Ness
nikkiness@hotmail.com

emily said...

Sorry we missed the bowling outing.... :)

Amazing quote, need to read a few more times to let it soak in.