Sunday, October 4, 2009

An open letter to mothers of twins.

Over the past week, having new twins in my house, I have come to the realization that I may need to apologize to some of you for comments I may have made, and things I may have done in my dark, unenlightened past.

To save time,  I am writing this post instead of calling or writing each of you individually or whatever Emily Post would say was proper form and all.

If this doesn't apply to you, read along anyway, you may be unknowlingly guilty of the same offenses.

Dear Mothers of Twins,

Please forgive me for ever saying how nice it must have been to get two babies and only have to lose the baby weight once.

Or that it must be so fun since they're both doing the exact same thing.  

Or, "I could never have a night-nurse.  I wouldn't like someone in my house all the time, and besides, I cherish that time to bond with the babies alone."

Or for ever inviting you to meet me for lunch at a busy, hectic place without good parking or a door that will accomodate a side-by-side double stroller.

Or for being slightly judgmental when you gave your older children chocolate cake for breakfast. It DOES contain eggs.

Or for wondering why you fell asleep during our conversation about leggings vs. skinny jeans.  And wondering if you realized you had spit-up on your left shoulder and smushed cereal bar on your right and neither of those "accessories" were featured in People Magazines Style Watch.

And finally, at least for now, forgive me for not being sympathetic enough when you were racked with guilt because if you were holding one crying baby, the other was just sitting on the floor crying by himself and you wondered if he would be scarred for life because of it.

Or for not praying for you every stinkin' day.


And for the mothers of triplets or more.  I am wearing saccloth and ashes for you, and sending you a case of Diet Coke.  And a medal.


Candy said...

Do you think this is something of which Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 1:3-11? Surely as we experience the grace and comfort of God in our "need" we can then comfort others in theirs. Or could it be the ol' Indian saying about "walking a mile in my moccasins"?

Whatever, I'm sure all the mothers of twins forgive you and will pray for you as we are!!


Nanny & Bunty

Colored With Memories said...

i'm sure your apologies are received with much laughter and forgiveness!

we think of and pray for you often...are they getting on a "schedule"?


Kim said...

Thank you for the stroll down memory lane and great laughs!
Apology accepted.
Praying for you and the twins. Lifting up the unknown circumstances that brought them to your loving home. Praising God for His delivery of those two precious lives into your loving care.
Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,

Jess said...

Yeah...I'm totally guilty of some of those...

Then I had one baby and still can't wrap my brain around twins. :0) Praying for you during this time!

Sitesx6 said...

I'm a twin mom....I survived and it was a great experience.....but yea, it is a different kind of hard isn't it?

Grateful for Grace said...

Well said!

Becca said...

oh i just love this! How's the "scheduling" going? I hope you know that what you're doing is a blessing to these kids - and an encouragement to all of us too :-)

Shelli said...

Melissa, you are truly amazing. Thank you for all that you do and for making such a difference in SO MANY people's lives.


The Hull's at #4 said...

I can vividly remember when I was pregnant with my first child how much fun I thought it would be to have twins. After she came I was thanking God that he saw fit to give me a next pregnancy was triplets, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. They are now 17 and about to graduate, and I can still remember one of the best days of my life was when they could tie their own shoes and hop up into the car by themselves, so I'm praying for you, but you can do it!! Blessings, Kim

gjalston said...

Oh my goodness... thank you wonderful Lord that my husband didn't get his wish for twins :) And blessings and props to those moms out there who did have multiples!

Karin Katherine said...

I accept your apology and not that I want to rub it in, but I do think you should also apologize for telling me to "just sleep when the babies sleep" to avoid sleep deprivation. I always wanted to hit you in the head and scream "Which ONE?" But that wouldn't have been very Christian.

On a serious note, I am praying for you and those double blessings. Once you get past the sleep deprivation you see it more and more.

Oh, and my boys are now 6 and they don't seem to have been scarred for life when I'd be busy with one while the other was crying...whew! God is so good!

Rainey said...

Susan Orlie sent me your post about twins. I have NO idea why you have twins in your house but I can only imagine it is because your heart is too big to let any child go without the unconditional love that the Hill/Alexander clan just can’t keep from pouring all over people.

As a mother of twins you have my forgiveness! I learned after I said many of those things to mothers of twins BEFORE my own were born there is just a lot of grace that all moms should extend to each other. I do also smile a little when moms have their 2nd baby and then realize they can’t just “run” to the grocery store and pop one baby carrier into the shopping cart. There are so many parenting situations I have learned not to pass judgment on because of the things I am personally guilty of doing that I SWORE I would never do and would report to CPS if I saw someone else do it!

Like most things - the hard parts get washed away in your memories and the sweet precious times far outweigh then. Of course that doesn’t come until after they are potty trained so disregard right now. I’ll check back with you. And, who am I to talk? I just had twins - not 6 other little lives I was responsible for before I got them! You are amazing and you have my admiration.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Apology accepted.

Can you even imagine having three?

Shawn and Jami said...

I do not have anything else to compare mothering twins to, so thank you for the "down in the trenches" perspective from someone I admire greatly! Thank for the apology....from a very green mother of twins:)

Sarah Bruner said...

I've been out of the loop with your blog because I gave birth to twins 6 weeks ago :)

It is great to hear of God continuing to use you in your community and I just love your blogging - especially this post :)