Thursday, January 21, 2010

Double D

Trey's grandfather passed away last Thursday and we attended his funeral Monday morning. At 98, he had lived an incredibly long life - full of stories we all remember him telling.

Like so many of us, he a slight bent toward over-reaction and I'm convinced, despite the fact that we were not blood, he passed it on to me.

Be it missed directions, traffic, or a glitch in the plans, he would exclaim, "Well, it's just a D&@N DISASTER!!"

The expression, 'Double D' for short, over the years has become somewhat of a family slogan.

Yesterday, I thought of Popo.

One of the errands Sadie and I had on our list was to get food for a few of the pets. Sustinance the likes of which only PetLand carries.

Sadie was giddy. At Petland, you can hold all of the animals. Sadie wanted to hold only two; the four foot long ball python and the ferret - otherwise known as the grossest animal alive.

The latter, mean and viscious as it was, bit my baby. BIT HER!!!

I'm gonna be really honest with you right now and tell you I was a tiny bit thankful. The ferret was, in one small bite, removed from her wish list for all eternity. Score.

In my haste to complete my purchases and get her the heck outta petland, I swiped my card but failed to carefully check my bag.

What I had asked for was 30 large crickets and two pinky-mice. Go ahead and say it, nasty in a plastic bag. I know.

What I got was just that - with a twist. Right before bed, I remembered the bag and told Tee he needed to feed his snake because the frozen pinky mice would probably be thawed and we all know you can't thaw and then refreeze something because it changes the flavor. Whatever.

Hmmm, frozen? Not so much.

I acidentally bought LIVE baby mice.

Insert Double D here.

Why the Double D, you ask? Tears people, tears. Lots of them.

After Trey, in his insensitivity fed one to Julius the snake, the task that fascinated my children when the mice were frozen suddenly became tantamount to murder when they saw those sweet, barely able walk, baby mice.

Through tears literally shooting horizontally from his eyes, Graham cried, "But the box says 'handle with love'. LOVE mom! KILLING THEM IS NOT LOVE, MOM!! NOT LOVE!!"

Oh, brother.

Despite the fact that I lied and told my children baby mice were ferocious and bit harder than ferrets, Tee was up literally half the night keeping the thing warm and fed. I know because he gave me hourly status reports.

This morning, they named him Alvin thereby guaranteeing that his impending death will be even a bigger Double D than it is already.

There are many lessons to be learned in this, I'm sure. The first of which is that sometimes the Double D is an overreaction and sometimes, it's merely stating the obvious.


Holli said...

:) I think it is quite FUNNY! but if it were at my house well it would at least be a triple D!

pendy said...

Love it! I now have a new expression! Oh, and my condolences on acquiring another mouth to feed. Ick.

Deidra said...

We called my husband's father Popo, too. His favorite word in a double d situation started with the letter "s".

I think you've got a new pet named Alvin on your hands...

TanyaLea said...

Oh dear. I'm sorry, but this gave me quite the chuckle! I'm glad it's in YOUR house and not mine though, truth be told! I'm with Holli...if it were HERE it would be a TRIPLE D!!! ;)

happygeek said...

I cannot even imagine.
But hey, now you have a NEW pet.
Because one can never have too many.
You can start calling your place "little farm in the hood."

Joyce said...

I'm still trying to get the picture of the biting ferret out of my head. I am not a fan of the ferret. I am also not a fan of mice be they dead or alive.

I think it is safe to say in this instance the double D was not overstating anything. I think it should be written in bold typeface in a 36 font.

The Niemeyer Nest said...

Thanks for giving me a laugh! I needed it!

Jill said...

I must say, I was in suspense for all of 2.5 seconds wondering what was Double D....oh the things that crossed my mind...Darius, cup size, but your DD, cracked me right up. Our Papa, does not do any DD words, but I think he would like free. After ninety, you've earned it. Sorry about all the tears, oh they would have been flowing around here to, yuck!

Alicia said...

Laughing so hard, I think I need some depends!!

Jen said...

I love the "Double D" expression. :)

Becca said...

AHAHAHA for real but i also almost gagged on my Firehouse Sub. I should know better than to read your blog while eating, what with all your nasty animal stories and such . . .

Stacy Ann said...

So true story: when I was 7 I was in love w/mice and would catch them on our ranch. My g'parents freaked out so they bought me a pair of mice so I wouldn't catch wild ones.

Long story short, they got married and proceeded to have babies every 8 weeks. So g'pa came back and gave me $.50/per mouse! I didn't realize where they went, but I guess your mouse could be my mouse's great-great-great (etc) grandchild!!

Good luck with that mouse. They live forever. Unless you add a cat to the mix but that's another heartbreaking story. :)
Good luck with Stuart! :)

emily said...

Oh my, tears for so many reasons. I can see it all playing out in my mind. DD for sure.

Popo, sweet, Popo.

A Joyful Chaos said...

Oh dear, I can imagine how traumatic that was for the children.

Ann Marie said...

You always make me laugh!! Thank you.