A couple of months ago, I saw a notice on my friend's Facebook.
Again, a sentence I'm not proud to have written.
The notice was to all of her friends who had been married for at least 10 years. I immediately took notice because Trey and I have been married for almost 15 years. Fourteen of which have been pretty great. Our first, not so much - I was a year out of college and maybe a little selfish. I'm just keepin' it real. And understated.
Anyway, the post was looking for married couples who have little points of contention. Not the big guns like affairs, divorce, etc. but the small stuff that, no matter how much we try, we all sweat a little. It was for a t.v. show developed by Jerry Seinfeld. Seriously, as soon as I read that, I knew it was going to be funny and determined that Trey and I were for sure going to apply.
A. He thinks my car is too messy (let the six children ride in his car everyday).
B. He doesn't like me touching him with my feet when we sleep.
C. He becomes frustrated when he finds all four cordless phones on one table - completely dead.
I totally entered us. Laughing my head off at the prospect, I sent an email, a picture, and a sonnet I'd written about how much Jerry Seinfeld makes me laugh.
I made that last part up.
The next day, NBC called. N.B.C called my house and asked for me, Melissa Hill of the hood Hill's.
"Yes, Melissa, we got your email and our producers will be in Texas in a week and would love to talk with you and your husband about being on our show."
Now came the uncomfortable part - the part where I sound like an idiot and say, "Yeah, well, um, I guess I'd better ask my husband first. He doesn't exactly know I applied."
Guess how great Trey thought the idea was? Not even half that much. I think his exact words were, "No way, no how, never. I'd get a pedicure before we'd go on a show like that."
When he threw out the whole, "I'd get a pedicure first", thing, I knew there was no arguing, convincing, cajoling. That boy does not believe pedicures were meant for men and will go to his grave with un-pedified toes.
Honestly, it was one of the things I thought we could talk about on the show before millions of viewers.
Tonight, I saw a preview for the show. It airs February 28th.
On the preview, a husband and wife were arguing because she kept the ashes of her dead first husband in their living room. And his prosthetic leg in their closet.
Although it looked hilarious, Trey was possibly right.
I said possibly, not probably.
Can't wait to watch.