Saturday, January 9, 2010

Things I'm not qualified to do #387.

Ok, so could ya'll be any more encouraging?  Seriously?  Reading through all of your comments was great and I so appreciate all you had to say.  Thank you.

A few of you asked about the Francis Chan book I've been reading.  It's called The Forgotten God and it's great.  A study on the Holy Spirit.  Highly recommend it.  Next on my list is The Hole in the Gospel.  And after that, I'm open to suggestions.  What have ya'll read lately that you've loved, been encouraged by, been exhorted by?  Please share.

And finally, Olivia's snake has a name.  It took some time for her to decide but, in the end, she wrote them down on a piece of paper and chose the one that the snake slithered over first.  I only wish I was kidding.

Thanks Big Mama for the suggestion - Oliver Twist is the winner.

And because you suggested such a fabulous name; a literary character, fitting for the reptile, and not at all a pseudonym for Satan (which I thought were hilarious but Olivia didn't really see the humor in), you'll receive a special little buddy of your own.  If you get a package with holes in the box, open it quickly.

And for those of you wondering if we still have the other snake, the answer is 'unfortunately'.

If you haven't been keeping track because you actually have a life, let me give you our standing count of pets as of today.

Snake 1 - Oliver Twist
Snake 2 - Julius
Gerbil 1 - Cupcake (not a literary name, I know.  We lost a bet and brought them home pre-named)
Gerbil 2 - Marshmallow (see above note)
Bearded Dragon 1 - Augustine
Beta Fish - Moby
Canine 1 - Scout

Seriously, can you understand why I have moments of sadness?

And, since you brought up our dog, Scout, let's talk about another low point in my New Year so far.  We're calling it "the incident" and it happened the other day in my house with the dog and some clippers.

"The incident" was unfortunate.  So unfortunate that Trey has asked more than once if I would please, not ever do it again.  That says a lot because he barely even likes the dog (made that up, he loves her).  His issue is that she's a Labradoodle and there's always the possibility of being asked at some sort of major sporting event what kind of dog he has.  It's not the most manly sounding dog breed, I'll give him that.

I don't care what she's called, she barely sheds.  You with me?  Ok, but there is a tradeoff.  She needs some grooming.  Like brushing.

I barely can get my girls' hair brushed and frankly, I think dogs should be a little like a bar of soap.  Barring any sort of mud frolicking, essentially self-cleaning.  I don't groom her much so she mostly looks like this.

A dog so ugly she's cute.  Now, however, she is simply a dog who is just ugly.

Loved.  Adored.  Petted profusely and allowed to sleep on the couch or momma's bed, but ugly.

But her hair had gotten out of hand.  Like dreds and stuff.  She needed a haircut and I was just the girl to do it.  I mean, I certainly wasn't going to take her to some dog salon and, I've given a boy a buzz-cut, how hard could it be?  Not so hard if she sat totally still for 45 minutes and the guards worked properly on the clippers.

She didn't.  They didn't.

Finished product.

This picture doesn't even do it justice.  She looks much worse and knows it.  She's self-conscious and stuff now and she wouldn't even let me do her face or her legs so I can't let her go out front because the kids will run from her because she looks like she has the mange.

But that's not even the worst of it!  I now have to take her into a groomer and have them fix it because she still has all these dreds and stuff hanging off of her body.  People will be shielding their children's eyes as we walk by so they don't see the horror that is now my dog.

Plus, the snooty dog hair dresser (you know the type) is gonna look at me like I'm some sort of IDIOT who thought they could do the job in their garage with a pair of clippers from Big Lots (for the record, a quality set of clippers cannot be purchased at Big Lots).  She'll probably even roll her eyes at me.

I totally deserve it.  It's why there are licenses for such things.

So, wish me luck tomorrow...I'll let you know how it goes.


Ok, I made a few calls to some people who know things.  Fixing Scout's bad cut will run me upwards of $80 American dollars because of her size (and I'm assuming ugliness but they didn't say that).
Since I don't spend that much on my own haircuts and my childrens' combined, Scout will just have to let it grow out naturally.  Enduring the shame.
It's character building.
I bought her a bone.

Ya'll have a great weekend.


Holli said...

best of luck! :)

Kim said...

Can I tell you how grateful I am for the laughter therapy you provide me!
Oliver Twist ... what a perfect name for a snake.
Can hardly wait for the update on Scout and her hair repair!
Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,

Joyce said...

Love the snake's name...that's a good one.

Good luck with the dog. And the groomer : )

Dr. Mom said...

I finally spent the money on a decent clipper that actually clips thick long hair. It was so worth it. I have a Lab/Airdale mix who I clip every few months. Here is the one I bought that works great -

I also bought a couple of different size blades to find the right one for our dog.

It gets much easier after the first time. Good luck!

Free Wilma said...

Laughing very hard because I can completely relate...because I too share my home with a yellow labradoodle. Love the non-shedding thing. But it's a chore getting the grooming done. I only cut my own hair 2-3 times a year. However, I've never been brave enough to try the clippers myself.

Henley on the Horn said...

I love it. I can totally relate to the dog knowing she does not look good. Our Bitsy was the same way when the groomer SHAVED her because I had let her get so knotted. Just look the woman in the eye and tell her Trey did it. Works every time. Just kidding. I know you can't lie. So play on dog groomer woman's emotions. Come in crying. Tell her you needed to save money and look what happened? Hope it goes well!

Jess said...

Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! That was REALLY, REALLY funny :0) Who cares what that doggie hair dresser thinks anyways. They are always so overpriced, I have tried to cut my yorkies hair myself, and it ALWAYS turns out a bit scary. But I do save around $70+. :0) And that's a LOT of diapers. :0)

Anonymous said...

Bearded Dragon 1 & Canine 1....does that mean there will be a "2" of each of these?

Your dog is cracking me up! :)

The Rowlands said...

Seriously, I cannot stop laughing! I am so thankful for you and your blog...thanks for sharing!!

Becca said...

I've been laughing for quite a few minutes now about this. Because poor Scout. Oh how I love your ghetto labradoodle. haha

Adam cuts our dog's hair too and it's a little embarrassing for a while afterwards. But it saves us like $40 every time, so I'll deal with an ugly dog. Although I must say it's not as bad as yours haha :-) love you friend! come to Atlanta soon!

Heidi K. said...

I can't stop laughing. sooo funny.

Megan said...

We are trying the same method of naming our unborn son that Olivia used in naming her snake. We read a list of names and then wait for the child to kick when he hears one that he likes. Unfortunately for that method, we have to keep doing it because he kicks on names that we are unable to pronounce. Silly boy ...

Knittinchick said...

I trimmed my own bangs today b/c they were getting out of control. My motto: If they are out of control, just keep on moving your hair so people don't notice.

Might work for the puppy love too!

Candy said...

Poor Scout! I can identify with her bad hair day and lack of it!

You know, Buddy has so much more square footage than Scout and Billi Bonz has never cost us $80. Give them a call.

Too funny!!


Betty said...

Laughed too hard...need a break...
We also have a labradoodle; I totally understand: sweet, playful, non-sheding, non-smelly, but I spend more on her hair than my own. But then again, I never brush her, just have her shaved off about once a year. Poor thing didn't recognize herself in the mirror after the first time. Even now, she's quite apologitic for the first few days after a cut. If you're serious about doing it yourself, Rutland Manor's website has some tips (they used to have a DVD too, but I didn't see it on their website just now).
BTW, you don't know me, but I've been following your life and ministry for a while now (friend of friends of Alexanders--Ethiopia adoption circles). And, as long as I've started writing, a book recommendation: Sub-merge by John Hayes. Along the same lines as Hole in Gospel and you guys are already living it, still worth a read.

happygeek said...

Too, too funny.

emily said...

Oh my goodness. Sweet Scout. I remember when Charlie got a really short cut and was humiliated- I actually have felt the same way a time or two after a particularly bad cut.

Hoping it grows out quickly!!

I'm impressed that you went for it. :)

Hannah said...

Call Donavan, I bet he can do it. I mean he has a stylist license from Paul Mitchell I'm quite sure that qualifies him to trim a K-9. And P.S. Scout has the saddest eyes in the second picture.

Sitesx6 said...

I think I coughed up a lung- laughing at this post!!!!!!!!

Bless that dog's heart. Can you take pictures along the way, as Scout grows out? Maybe use some nice hair products that control frizz on her...put a bow in her hair, spritz on doggie perfume. All this to avoid dog therapy.

Our pet list:
1. Parakeet Zoey
2. Rabbit- Willow
3. Cat- Smokey
4. Cat- Pete (who names their cat Pete??)
5. Cat-Nikki
6. Cat- Bandit
7. Canine- Dakota


Kim said...

Just gave you a blog award! Stop by!
Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,

Karin Katherine said...

I so desperately would like to have a Labradoodle. My DH and yours are probably BFF's and we don't even know it.

My DH said he wants a manly dog and a Labradoodle doesn't fit the bill.

So, in the meantime call me the reptile lady.

6 geckos + 1 bearded dragon.
Yes, one died. I didn't say I was a good reptile lady did I?

David C. Cook said...

Hi, I’ve noticed that you’ve blogged about Forgotten God, by Francis Chan. As you may know, we have just released a Forgotten God DVD Study Resource. Because of your wonderful blog post about the book, I’d like to offer you a free copy of the DVD to review. Please email me your address, and I’d be happy to send it. Thanks!