Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Waterparks aren't for sissies.

So, I've had a little blogging vacay and now, find myself sitting in a plastic lounge chair at a waterpark with my kids.

Last week, a coupon ran with half-price tickets and unlimited drink refills so I snatched it up. Surely, there is enough Diet Coke in this world to get me through a day at the waterpark.

My kids barely slept last night, they were so excited.

If I'm honest, I may have silently prayed for rain but to the delight of the children, it's a perfectly sunny day  temperature: 102.

We've been here now 3.5 hours with no signs of slowing down.  We've raced down slides 147 times and floated in a lazy river that would be much lazier with about 30% less people and a frozen margarita with salt.

Along with that idea, I've got a few more for the general waterpark suggestion box.

1.  When you're choosing your straw vendor, you might want to rethink the whole "whistle straw" thing. I can't tell if my kids are trying to get my attention or the lifeguard is correcting me for yelling, "IN YOUR FACE!" to the kid I beat in the last race.

2. Perhaps you should prohibit the use of tank tops and boxer shorts as acceptable swimwear. On girls, especially who may never have actually tried on the outfit soaking wet to check it's transparency. 

3. Remind your gentlemen patrons... Just because your swimwear FEELS like underwear, you are NOT in the privacy of your home and we can SEE you constantly rearranging your junk. 

4. And finally, if you park your family next to another family, AND you had the forthought to pack large, yummy-looking sub sandwiches for your crew, it's only polite to share your bounty with the other family whose mother thought her four children could get by solely on sunshine and free drink refills. 

With whistle straws.  

8 comments:

Meliski said...

Thanks for donating to our raffle!! I counted 10 entries in your name!! You are officially the leader in entries!

I found your blog a few months ago and have been checking in on it a few times a month ever since. You are a great hilarious writer!!

Thanks so much

Candy said...

Well this was answer to your childrens' prayers. As we passed Hurricane Harbor the other day, temperature at least 102, I remarked that it looked MISERABLE and the lines were massive. They said: "Awesome! I hope we get to go before summer is over." He hears our prayers!

Love,

Nanny

Becca said...

I'm not even kidding I just read this out loud to my friend sitting next to me. Yup, I'm lame and you're funny - it works out for me!

Meliski said...

lol whoops. Sorry for the comment about donations. I left it on the wrong blog :) You can donation though if you'd like! LoL maybe this was fate!

And, the part about me following -- and loving-- your blog is still very very true.

:)Melissa

sevenalstons said...

So funny and so true... all of it!

Megan said...

Your praying silence but your kid praying in loud and their praying in group witch means.God bless them :)

Pamela said...

God always hears our prayers. Just keep on believing. :). Thanks for the share!

Kim said...

Priceless universal truths on water parks as we experience all of the above this week in Florida!
Blessings from the beach,
Kim