Friday, November 12, 2010

I like pie.

Once afternoon, after a magnificent birthday party where the kids received helium balloons with a removable stopper, I taught them how to inhale the helium and then speak like a cast member of an Alvin and the Chipmunks made for t.v. movie.

It was fun.

Except, the kids were laughing so hard, they wouldn't actually talk. They'd just say, "Hi." in a really piercing key and all the dogs in the neighborhood would start to howl.

"Guys! Say something else! Say something else!"

In between all of Tee's laughter, all he could think to say was, "I like pie."

Huh.

Although basically useless information, it does, however, create a nice segue for my cry for help.

Mercy Street is hosting a Neighborhood Pot Luck this Saturday afternoon. Along with the usual hams, potato salads, and jello molds we're hoping the community will bring, there is also a highly anticipated chili cook-off and pie baking competition.

I've got a pretty good chili recipe but I'm out on pie recipes. Olivia has been talking smack all week about her coconut cream pie and how it's going to knock it out of the park. Humility is a gift we're still unwrapping.

I've tried to show her I'm not scared but I am. I am scared. It's a really great pie and, although I love her and want the very best for her, I just don't know if I can live in a house where my own child beats me at my own game. With my own recipe.

I need help, people - big help and I knew I could come to you in my hour of bakery need.

Which one of you out there would like to loan me a recipe so I can put that little 9 year old to shame? I mean, so I can be used by the Lord as a tool to sanctify her? Who's got the mother of all pie recipes, capable of winning community potlucks, and at the same time, has access to it instead of it being locked in a safety deposit box in your grandmother's hometown?

When, I mean if, I win, I'll be sure to give you credit - unless, of course I'm swept up in the moment of receiving my trophy like Sadie was at her end of the year soccer party.




Highly probable.

11 comments:

Jen said...

I am totally going to win tomorrow as I am bringing a pie but it is topic secret.

So I suggest maybe just buying a frozen pie? I am sure that would win. ;)

Celeta Bettison said...

I have the mother of all chocolate pie recipes. It's my mother-in-laws and it's the reason I married my husband. I'll email it to you.

Traci said...

I have an award winning fudge pie recipe that is sooooo easy, but seriously- it's award-winning. Once I had to make 200 for the Steeplechase.

BUT- if you want to throw down the gauntlet and bring out your big guns and possiby mix up more than the metaphors I insist on stirring, then you should go for my grandmother's fried pies.


Recipes here: http://www.totalmomsense.net/2008/12/sunday-supper-edition-4.html (fudge pie)

Fried Pies- They are famous!http://www.totalmomsense.net/2009/12/warm-wishes-and-best-dishes.html

Candy said...

You're going to be able to do a pie cookbook, I am sure. You have some good ones already, but can't wait to see who of your readers gets the nod. Can't wait for the community-wide pot luck which is the most clever ruse ever to keep me from knowing it's my surprise birthday party!

Love to you!

Candy

Lauren said...

Pioneer Woman has a GREAT apple pie. And it's really easier than it looks. I can't cook and I still made it (and it sold for $40 at the cake auction at church and everyone said it was DE-LISH).

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/12/scrumptous-and_i_do_mean_scrumptous-apple_pie/

Megan said...

I have a chocolate meringue pie that is AMAZING. And it's much better teh day after ... if it lasts that long. :)
I'll be making it for Thanksgiving it's that good. If you'd like it, let me know and I'll figure out how to email it to you.

pendy said...

My mother-in-law's pecan pie is my go-to pie: http://bowersrecipes.blogspot.com/2008/12/sas-pecan-pie.html

But this one is so completely awesome:
http://bowersrecipes.blogspot.com/2008/12/sinful-caramel-pie.html

Dina said...

Banana Caramel Pie is sure to win!

First make some delicious pie crust or use Marie Callendars. Then boil a can of eagle brand milk for 4 hours. You just take the label off the can submerge in a big pot of water and boil it. Make sure you keep refilling the water as it evaporates. If the can is not submerged it could explode all over your kitchen. Since I have read your blog for a while I can totally picture that happening to you.

The eagle brand milk will turn to the best caramel ever. Cool it down in an ice bath and put it in the fridge for an hour or so. Then pour in into the pie crust. Slice up 2 or 3 bananas on top of the caramel, then put cool whip on top. Use the whole tub. Then you can sprinkle it with nuts on top. It is delish!

May the force be with you!

Sarah said...

I don't mean to play mind games with you but my mentee and I are, as we speak, finishing an apple butter pumpkin pie with pecan streusel topping right now, and it smells DELICIOUS...

Christy@pipandsqueak said...

I have a great buttermilk pie recipe if you want it. I can email it to you.

Kim said...

Pioneer Woman never fails.