Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The tears of a clown.

Sadie gave her last presentation of first grade this afternoon and, although a little late, I actually made it this time. That made my record 1-1 for the season in presentation show-ups for my youngest child.

The children made dioramas of different ecosystems.

Sadie chose the Rainforest ecosystem. Actually, that's not exactly true. Initially, she was assigned Wetlands - an assignment that made her cry so hard in horror and dissappointment that her kind and tender teacher gave her Rainforests instead.

Now, at this point, let me say two things.

1. Reason #234 that I love my husband is that he sincerely enjoys doing projects with the children. He gets all creative and uses interesting things like moss and snakeskin instead of the posterboard and Sharpies that I would use. He has made the process fun for the kids and for that, I'm thankful. Incredibly thankful. More thankful than I can put into words on this page because, while he was helping cut and glue, I was catching up on the news commentators speculations on whether or not we'll ever really know who actually made the shot that took Osama bin Laden's life.

My personal favorite was the scenario the guys on Dallas' The Ticket speculated.

'Seal Team 6 guy is at Thanksgiving dinner with his family and his little sister's annoyingly boastful, young, upwardly mobile, yuppie husband. An afternoon of him jawing on and on and on about his clients, power lunches, and great tickets to the Cowboys season opener, is wearing on Seal Team 6 guy. Finally, he's had it and can't stand another minute. "Dude, you know the greatest terror threat of our generation? I killed him. Now, make yourself useful and go get me some more turkey and dressing. And cranberries. I like the cranberries.'

2. When I was in the eighth grade, I went to debate camp at Baylor University. The national debate topic for the year was on Wetland Conservation. The knowledge I gleaned that summer and subsequent year debating carried me through many a science fair, extra credit project, and research paper. My junior year at A&M, to satisfy a science credit, I found myself in a Geography class because, duh, how easy could that be? Not easy. After two tests I had a nice solid D. That's when I noticed on our syllabus that an optional 25 page paper could be written on anything pertaining to Geography for, like, 40% of your grade. I hammered out a paper on wetlands in about a day and made a B in the class.

So, when Sadie came home the other day and I was kind of half listening to her tell the story of the ecosystem she'd been assigned, I heard 'wetlands' and panicked. Although I love the topic, the thought of turning my love into something that was actually interesting to look at inside a shoe box gave me the willies. Thankfully, when she again explained her tear-induced, ecocystem-reassignement to Rainforests, I rejoiced at being, once again free from the bonds of semester project assisting.

If it weren't totally innapropriate, considering the timing, I might say I dodged a bullet there. But, that would be totally inappropriate.

On a side note, as an additional visual aid, Sadie took Oliver Twist, the Ball Python to hold while she presented.

Walking to the car in the school parking lot, Olivia was holding the snake and kind of messing with it.

"Olivia, what are you doing?"

"Oliver has a splinter in him and I'm trying to get it out...hang on...I... can't... get it."

"Let me see, baby...Oh...Hmmm...Huh...Oh! Olivia, sweetie, that's not a splinter. That's Oliver's penis."

The learning really never ends, does it?


Becca said...

haha hilarious :-) that last line just caught me off guard . . .

Traci said...

Holy Cow! Did she hurt him? I imagine he was a little irritated after that!

Candy said...

Oh my stars! Hilarious.
Good night.


The Hidalgo Family said...

I will forever remember the day Lauren held her little "Charlotte's Web" diorama and her little eyes were darting back and forth from her little box, handmade by Tee's huge wooden barn with removable roof. I spent the car ride home convincing her there was no way Tee made that thing all by himself.

Kim said...

Thank you for blogging. Your stories make may days better. LOL!

Holli said...


Laurie J said...

oh my. thanks for that laugh!

and 2 became 5 said...

wow. didn't see that one coming. :)

Jessica Johnson said...

Had dinner with Wendy Hagen last night and she said you were a must read. And she's totally right. I love what your family is going. I think it's awesome. And amazing. And of the Lord. Can't wait to follow along!

These Three Kings said...

What in the WORLD!!!!?? LOL!!!
love it!