Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Really. Finished. Ready for Spring, and flowers blooming, and sunshine, and baseball season. Admittedly, I love to watch the kids play but what I really love is the food associated with baseball games. Hot dogs, nachos, big Diet Cokes, and sunflower seeds.
I'm nothing if not classy.
Speaking of classy...last week, our trash collectors didn't come because of the ice. Well, if you've known me very long, you know I have a strong fear of being overrun by our own garbage. When the city cut us down to one pick up a week, I had to re-evaluate everything. Think of the trash one little box of Hot Pockets creates. With the box, all the wrapping, and then those little foil things that make the fake food actually crisp up in the microwave. Can't they just add another chemical to do that for me? Anyway, that's a lot of trash created for just one food item so those were gone until I could at least learn to pace ourselves a little.
But, even with our more careful management of trash output, missing a weeks pick-up could easily send this family of eight into garbage crisis mode. So, Tuesday, when our trash truck rounded the corner, I was ready. I ran out with a big smile and a bag of oatmeal raisin cookies to bribe a city employee to dump our trash receptical twice to make up for the missed week.
'For the love of all things good, please do not let this man have an aversion to dried fruit or rolled oats. Or be gluten intolerant. Amen.'
Thankfully, he took my cookies and dumped my trash can twice as I waved and whooped and hollared and thanked him like he'd saved me from a near-death experience. Which he totally had. Totally.
And, since Momma had officially run out of things to do on yet another snow day, I allowed Sadie to entertain herself for a while by drawing on my face with pink highlighter.
The bonus was that it was a Sharpie Highlighter so it took me about sixteen tries to wash it off. And glad Hannah was around to take pictures and then immediately post these beauties on Facebook for me. She's a doll.
And for the record, these pics were taken around noon and yes, I was still in my bathrobe.
Friday, February 4, 2011
I actually never claimed to be all those things. Really. Would you please tell my children?
Actually, yesterday, we had a moment of Nature Study right here in the 'hood and now, because we have been cooped up for 72 hours straight and I have nothing else to talk about, I will tell you the story.
Temperatures have not been above 25 degrees since Monday evening so it was not surprising for us to find a bunny, frozen solid, underneath Dea's car yesterday morning. It was actually not a bunny but a large hare. Bunny is just more fun to say.
Try it with me.
Anyway. The kids were all sad and wanting to have a funeral but we certainly couldn't bury the thing - "ground's too hard". Saying that, I felt just like Jeff Bridges in True Grit when he couldn't bury the bodies of the men he'd just killed because winter was nary upon them.
Great movie, by the way. I was thinking though, as I was watching, how bad everyone probably smelled back then. You know, without Right Guard and the like.
Anyway, we were observing the dead bunny from the window when we saw a feral cat walk up and start eating it. Lovely.
The children were aghast and I could see this quickly downward spiraling into something nightmares are made of. So, being the super-quick thinker I am, I just casually started talking about the Circle of Life, and how the Lord has provided for the cat with the death of the bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny.
And then I distracted them with television and candy.
It reminds me of the time Tee was very, very little and we were sitting in our backyard watching a locust come out of his shell. Patiently we waitied as the locust's wings dried and he slowly moved them readying them for his first flight into the sweet summer air.
His first attempt failed and he fell softly to the ground making the beautiful buzz that locust are known for. At the sound, Samson, our beloved lab, sauntered slowly up and ate the locust right before our eyes.
Tee turned his chunky little face to me eyes wide, stunned, and speechless. I, holding back my gag reflex, casually told him how some living creatures provide food for other living creatures. It's how God made things.
"But, Momma, I thought that's what the dog food was for?"
"Buddy, how 'bout we go turn on cartoons and eat candy. Okay?"
Works every time.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I experienced the full brunt of the brutal cold this morning at 4:37 when Tucker decided he had to use the outdoor facilities. The wind was howling so hard and sleet coming in sideways that he wouldn't walk out into the yard unless I went with him. In my bathrobe.
I then came in, turned off all the alarms and sent out a text cancelling this morning's bible study because the kids for sure weren't having school. I immediately got a text back from Hannah, mocking me for cancelling bible study. She said something like...or exactly..."It's just a little rain. Wimp."
Hmmm. I wonder if her sentiments changed this morning when her car door was frozen shut and she couldn't make her morning run to Starbucks to nurse her raging coffee addiciton. Maybe.
Hannah, how those shakes workin' for ya?
Ok, honestly, Hannah isn't really addicted. Last time I saw her, she was actually drinking some sort of tea. Whatever. I'll find her new achilles heel soon enough.
And truthfully, Hannah was just verbalizing what everyone here for the Super Bowl is thinking. Do you think they'd cancel school and all city services for a little snow and freezing rain? NO! In Pittsburg, they're laughing and Green Bay, I can't even imagine what they're thinking. Not good things. Not good.
So, on our unexpected snow day, we've been trying our best to creatively find things to do.
1. House Scavenger Hunt. Trey hid something in the house and then the kids had to find it. Whoever found it first got $1. When Trey was having to move money from our savings to pay the kids, he'd figured we'd played enough rounds.
2. Cooking. We've made french toast, hot chocolate, grilled cheese, soup, smothered pork chops, brownies, and Cosmopolitans.
We haven't really made Cosmopolitans. Trey says they're 'girly drinks' and is already ashamed enough that the world has to see our city shutting down in light of 1/4" of slush.
3. Watching Scout and Tucker play. As much as Scout would deny it, they're actually becoming really good little buddies. Watching them play is hilarious because Tucker just jumps around and Scout has to lay down totally flat so they can be at eye level. I have a video but unlike your great Aunt Nellie and her vacation slides, I'm sparing you the boredom.
4. Pretending we're CSI and trying to figure out the mystery sender of Tee's anonymous Valentine. It was in his cubby yesterday. No name. Just signed: 'Love ?'. If I could drive in this mess, I'd get it to the crime lab for fingerprinting and handwriting analysis. Unfortunately, I can't because, well, I don't have chains, or snow tires, or the resolve of my wooly Americans yonder North.
5. We're kind of running out of things to do so I guess I'm going to get off this computer and get out of my bathrobe so I can go downstairs and harrass Darius and his girlfriend who are watching a movie in the living room. You know, like walk in and out of the room spontaneously. Remind them in a sing-songy voice about keeping four feet on the floor, and pry innappropriately into her goals and dreams for her future, past relationships, and her personal commitment to abstinance.
On second thought, maybe I'll stay in my bathrobe and house shoes. It can only add to the effect.